Painful Experiences

I was walking along yesterday, as I normally just walk along, wondering why I was outside and not on the computer, and not entirely sure precisely where I was going. After I wiggled out of several narrow escapes involving large trucks, rotten potatoes, and some kitties, I heard a voice behind me.

“Hey! What’s up?”

I turned, confused, and saw it was an unfamiliar boy, perhaps two or three years older than myself. He was grinning, and as I hesitated, caught up to me.

“Oh, um, hi,” I replied uncomfortably. “Er, I suppose that uh, the sky is up.”

The boy glanced at me in surprise, and I wondered why. It’s not like what I said was the most original thing in the  universe.

“Yeah, well, I’m doing pretty good myself,” he said energetically.

I nodded uncertainly. “That’s…good.”

He looked at me again. “Hmm, really?”

“I…I guess.”

“What?”

I stared at him. “Er, sorry?”

“What do you mean she died?” His cheeks were flushed and his eyes so wide, I worried they would pop out of his head.

I shook my head in confusion. “Who? What?”

The boy turned slightly, and I noticed, for the first time, he was holding something to his ear.

A phone.

I ran away really quickly.

Went home.

Went on xkcd.

And saw a corresponding comic.

This seems like a good place to:

1) Say MLIA. (which is totally better than FML)

and

2) Post this:

Sucking Lemons

Yeah, that’s definitely what she said.

So, I was eating an orange, and naturally that reminded me of a lemon. If you wish to know how exactly, I advise you stop wishing that immediately. It’s for your own benefit. Trust me (I know, I know, that’s a lot to ask.)

Well, thinking about this lemony-ness, I was reminded of an incident that took place a few years back. I had been at a restaurant with my family, which was, of course, unfortunate for them. Why unfortunate, you may ask? Then you have never eaten at a restaurant with me. Invariably, I end up spilling someone’s drink, knocking over the waiter/waitress, accidentally walking into the kitchen because I thought it was the bathroom and tripping over something and thus  murdering the chef, or all three. After all, there are 7 different ways for these things to happen (1 + 3C2 + 3) (if that meant nothing to you, you’re not a math nerd.)

In any case, the waiter had just delivered the drinks, and added some lemon slices, too, for the water. I picked up one such lemon slice and squeezed the juice into the water (without knocking over the cup, I might add.) As I did so, I wondered what lemons tasted like if you sucked them.

I tried it.

It was a few moments after I tried it that I knocked over someone’s coke.

And now, I ask you: have you ever tried sucking a lemon?

Vote in the poll, if it actually showed up! And if you have, detail your wonderful experience in the comments!

A Venture into the World of Video Games

Sort of, anyhow.

The other day, which would more or less be today, I was invited to a simply stupendous sleepover consisting of three people: myself, my friend, and my friend’s little brother. This exceptionally large party was rather rowdy, with excessive screaming, dancing, wild crowds, and of course, booze. (I may or may not be kidding.) (Fine. I am.) The beginning of this marvelous event was marked with an intended anime marathon, namely, Azumanga Daioh (we had unfortunately already completed most of Inuyasha and all of Fruits Basket and Ouran High School Host Club.) However, I, having seen up to episode 20, could hardly bear rewatching the first nineteen so that my friend and said little brother would be able to catch up.

Long story short, we ended up playing a video game.

It may shock you that I have never played a video game before (at least, not longer than ten minutes, anyway.)

I see by your scoff that you are not surprised that a no-lifer like myself has never played a video game before (at least, not longer than ten minutes, anyway.)

In any case, this video game was a Mario-something-or-other-8, and we used a Wii system. One of those things where you have this white thing and you shake it about and press buttons to do things, in a very thingy-ful way.

It was fun. I think. Except, of course, that I lost everything I touched. Until that one minigame. At, perhaps, 4 o’clock in the morning. When my friend and her little brother had collapsed into a deep slumber, faces buried in apples. And I won it.

Oh, yeah.

Avatar: A Movie on Steroids

On Friday, I was able to see the movie, Avatar, in 3D. It was quite enjoyable, as well, but it was rather unfortunate that I only realized half-way through that it was in 3D, and thus required the glasses handed out at the beginning. Once I figured this out (by happening to turn my head to the right and see people wearing those awesomely glasses, if you must know), I put them on, and my experience remarkably imiproved. If you go to see it, I recommend you do the same.

The movie itself was pretty interesting. I loved the 3D work done, and not only was the movie prettyful, it actually had a plot, too. I haven’t seen a movie with a plot since…um…well, a really long time. If I had to nitpick (although this is actually a pretty big issue, to me, at least), I’d say that the aliens were entirely unrealistic.

For one thing, they were humanoid to the point of being “primitive” (if they can learn English, I don’t think they’re all that primitive) blue humans. They had rituals, beliefs, a complex hierarchy structure, etc. Aliens would likely be entirely different from humans, should they exist. I mean, viruses could be aliens, for all we know.

When we got to the humanoid aliens riding creatures that look like horses on steroids, I almost choked on my cheese! (Yes, I eat cheese while watching movies. You should try it.) That is so not primitive, and that is so not happening. The whole world presented was like earth on steroids.

And now, in my wonderful habit of repeating a joke until it’s almost like it’s on steroids, I conclude that the movie was on steroids.