Darth Badr and his Janitorial Minions

The resident evil math teacher at my school, Darth Badr, has recently joined forces with the resident evil French teacher, Moose Homme. Even their armies – of janitorial minions and dead rats, respectively – have merged. However (!), Darth Badr grew highly pissed at Moose Homme, and offed him soon enough. The rats, seeking revenge, have snuck into the janitors’ brains and injected their viral DNA. This has resulted in janitors with pointy noises prone to maniacal squeaks of laughter.

The other day, directly after math club, I noticed the janitor’s closet was open. As I passed it, I saw a rusty ladder attached to the wall.

“Odd,” I remarked to myself. “I saw a rusty ladder attached to the wall.”

“Odd,” a girl remarked to me. “I saw a girl remark to herself.”

“Odd,” I began, but then stopped. “I wonder where the rusty ladder attached to the wall leads to.”

She shrugged. “Somewhere, I suppose.” She then promptly removed the axe that people customarily carry around and went charging down the stairs.

Musing to myself (under my breath, this time), I poked my head into the closet. The ladder led up into some dark cavern, into which I could not see (lacking night vision.) In a fit of (parenthetical comments), I inched a little closer, little closer, and then just a wee bit closer before -

BOOM!

The door swung shut with a crash, a smash, and a bang, and I heard a maniacal squeak of evil laughter. Screaming, I threw my puny body at the door, bounced back, and crashed into the back of the closet.

A hand grabbed my shoulder.

“Did you do your math homework yet?”